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Monday, December 23, 2024

Six mistakes to avoid on a first date

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Jay Fiona
Jay Fiona
Personal blog
3 mn read

Meeting your love interest for the first time can be exciting and nerve-wracking. First dates often come with a rush of emotions and frequent questions about what to wear, what to say, and how to act.

Despite the uncertainties and anxiety that accompany first dates, it is important to make a good impression and ensure a smooth experience to avoid sabotaging the chance of a meaningful relationship.

Given this, here are mistakes you should steer clear of to ensure a smooth and enjoyable date experience.

  • Being late

Showing up late to a date can create a bad first impression. It can even give off the impression that you do not value or respect your date and his/her time.

To avoid being late, plan your journey and aim to arrive a few minutes early to demonstrate punctuality and consideration.

In case of unexpected delays, communicate with your date. Let him/her know why you will be running late and do not forget to apologise.

  • Dressing inappropriately

You should dress the way you want to be addressed by your date.

Do you know your appearance can speak volumes about your personality, confidence, style, and preferences? So dress and appear in a way that will give a long-lasting positive impression.

Dress appropriately and comfortably without going overboard or overdressing for the event.

  • Constantly checking your phone

Why are you at the date in the first place when you know you will be on your phone throughout?

It is important to put your phone away during a date so you won’t make your date feel unimportant and ignored.

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So put away your phone, pay attention, listen, and engage in conversation. Make yourself fully present and interested during conversations.

The only reason you should be on your phone constantly is when you are expecting an important call or message. And your date must have been aware of this beforehand.

  • Talking too much

Yes, you should be active in the conversation but moderation is key. Do not overdo it.

Some people tend to talk more when nervous which is understandable. However, remember that a date is a conversation, and it should be balanced: your date talks, and you talk.

Try not to dominate the conservation. Talking too much about yourself is a major turn-off on a first date.

The essence of a date is for both people to get to know each other so practice active listening.

Ask open-ended questions to encourage your date to share about themselves and aim for a balanced conversation.

Also, avoid bringing up politics or religious subjects. These subjects can be controversial and create tension or disagreement.

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  • Talking about your ex

Understandably, you want something serious and you want to do a little preliminary digging.

There is no harm in asking but let it come up organically. Also, do not dwell on it for too long.

Give your date time to open up about his/her past relationship. Do not force it, not even on the first date.

Try not to also bring in your past relationships except when you are asked. This can make your date uncomfortable and give the impression that you are not over your exes.

Rather, keep the conversation light and focused on getting to know each other.

Save more personal topics for later dates when a deeper connection has been established.

  • Trying to get physically intimate too soon

Pushing for physical intimacy too early can create discomfort and send the wrong message.

First dates are meant to establish a connection and understand compatibility, not to rush into physical relations.

So, respect personal boundaries and focus on building emotional and intellectual connections first.

If the relationship works out, there is plenty of time to explore physical intimacy.

But on a first date, do not try to establish physical intimacy to avoid coming off as creepy or desperate.

Remember, be yourself throughout the conversation and let the relationship develop naturally. Don’t force it.

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