So are you considering dating or perhaps, getting married to a single mother?! an American author named Shawn James has this week wrote a controversial essay titled ‘Why Real Men Avoid Single Mothers’ – giving 15 solid reasons why men should not date single mothers.

The essay has really caused a stir on Social media and we were thoughtful to share it with you guys.

WARNING: Single moms are at this point, warned that they’re not going to like the below essay. They should also note that the opinion was not written but was shared by the author of YBL.

1. Never Available. A single Mother’s schedule is never open.

Single mothers are the kind of women to always cancel dates at the last minute. Something always gets in the way of a man spending time with her. It’s hard to have a relationship with her because she’s never there.

2. YOU are NOT a priority.

Usually in a relationship the man winds up DEAD LAST. Behind, her kids, her job, the car, the kitchen sink, the stopped up toilet. Even the dog gets more attention and affection than a man involved with a single mother. Any man who gets involved with a single mother winds up a fifth stringer in a relationship. And he rarely ever gets called up to play.

3. Thinks the world revolves around HER and ONLY HER.

A single mother is one of the biggest narcissists on the dating scene. She often thinks that a man has to drop everything in his life to be part of hers and her kids. They’re so selfish they don’t think a man has needs, wants or a life of his own. He’s just supposed to be there to give her everything she wants in life.

4. Emotionally Unavailable

Most Single mothers cannot form an intimate connection with a man because her feelings are invested in other people. Usually her primary focus is on her children.

In addition to dedicating herself to her children, most single mothers have given their hearts to someone else- their children’s father. And those feelings she still has for him will always prevent her from getting closer to you. There will always be some distance between a single mother and the new man in her life.

So are you considering dating or perhaps, getting married to a single mother?! an American author named Shawn James has this week wrote a controversial essay titled ‘Why Real Men Avoid Single Mothers’ – giving 15 solid reasons why men should not date single mothers.

The essay has really caused a stir on Social media and we were thoughtful to share it with you guys.

WARNING: Single moms are at this point, warned that they’re not going to like the below essay. They should also note that the opinion was not written but was shared by the author of YBL.

1. Never Available. A single Mother’s schedule is never open.

Single mothers are the kind of women to always cancel dates at the last minute. Something always gets in the way of a man spending time with her. It’s hard to have a relationship with her because she’s never there.

2. YOU are NOT a priority.

Usually in a relationship the man winds up DEAD LAST. Behind, her kids, her job, the car, the kitchen sink, the stopped up toilet. Even the dog gets more attention and affection than a man involved with a single mother. Any man who gets involved with a single mother winds up a fifth stringer in a relationship. And he rarely ever gets called up to play.

3. Thinks the world revolves around HER and ONLY HER.

A single mother is one of the biggest narcissists on the dating scene. She often thinks that a man has to drop everything in his life to be part of hers and her kids. They’re so selfish they don’t think a man has needs, wants or a life of his own. He’s just supposed to be there to give her everything she wants in life.

4. Emotionally Unavailable

Most Single mothers cannot form an intimate connection with a man because her feelings are invested in other people. Usually her primary focus is on her children.

In addition to dedicating herself to her children, most single mothers have given their hearts to someone else- their children’s father. And those feelings she still has for him will always prevent her from getting closer to you. There will always be some distance between a single mother and the new man in her life.

Nigerian boyfriends can be as annoying as they can be sweet. However, some are just too insensitive to women and how they operate, reason and communicate. Normally, when a girl says no, she means “I’m not that cheap, try harder and I will say yes.”

Sometimes ladies, especially the under 25, just want their boyfriends to show them that they care beyond words.

When a boyfriend exhibits any of the signs below, they get turned off “that one is not a serious somebody,” they will say. Below are things that boyfriends do that girlfriends detest.

1. When you tell him to stop calling you because you are angry and he stays mute for weeks.

2. When you try to eat from his plates and he starts acting drama.

3. When you tell him you’re broke and instead of him to do ‘transfer’ he says “me too.”

4. When you’re having an argument and instead of letting you win, he starts throwing facts and logic your way.

5. When you tell him you like his watch and he doesn’t immediately give it to you.

6. When he ‘cums’ before you and then sleeps off leaving you hanging.

7. When he tells you your best friend has a bigger backside than you. Really?

8. When he won’t tell you his ATM pin.

9. When you tell him that you don’t want anything for Valentine’s day and he actually doesn’t buy you anything.

10. When something is bothering you and he can’t read your mind to know what’s wrong.

11. When you tell him “I’m fine” and he actually stops asking what’s wrong.

12. When you start forming vex and start leaving and he really allows you leave.

13. When he does not tell you ‘I love you’ every day.

14. When he says his mother’s jelloff rice is sweeter than your own.

15. When you send him a message and hours later he has still not replied. He better be dead.

16. When he doesn’t get you a gift for Independence day, Easter, Sallah, Children’s day, and his own birthday. What is now his use?

17. When it’s been one hour and he hasn’t checked up on you. What is his excuse?

18. When you’re meant to be the only woman in his life but he is still in contact with his mother and sisters.

19. When you want to make your hair and he wants to pay his school fees instead. Is that how to love?

20. When you’re ready for marriage and he is complaining that it’s just been six months. Adam married Eve the same day he met her!

1. I adore you. This isn’t about sex; this isn’t about desire. This is about how you make me glow whenever you walk into a room, glad that you just exist, whether I’m the guy beside you or just someone admiring you from twenty feet away.

2. You inspire me. I love how you’re living your life, what you’re devoting yourself to, how you’re spending your time, what path you’ve chosen, how you deal with the people around you.

3. I respect you. You’re the first person I think of when I want a serious opinion on something. Anything. From topics like “Am I being an asshole here?” to “Which is better, Mad Men or Breaking Bad?”

4. I just love kissing you. Okay, so, years from now, if by some awful paragliding accident we both end up paralyzed and have no use of our lower extremities and can never get it on again, I’ll still feel pretty good about it as long as I can just kiss you as much as I want.

5. I don’t want to change you. Yes, there are some things about you that I don’t get. That I don’t love. But you’re you. And all the other stuff that comes with you, I would never want to lose. So I don’t want to disturb the equation. I want to keep it intact. And just help it grow.

6. I accept your drama. Sure, you’ve got some anger issues with your mom. Or dad. Or sister. Or job that you’re trying to get out of. I can handle that, even when it’s a bit exhausting. I even support it. None of us is drama-free, me especially. I respect that you’re fighting against something.

7. I’ve totally got the hots for you. As in: Seriously, can we get these clothes off already? I’m dying here. We should really find our way to the nearest bedroom. Or kitchen. Or rooftop.

8. I love that you tell me off sometimes. Seriously. I may not always admit it, but I respect it. I’m full of bullshit sometimes, and I like to know you won’t take it. If I’m gonna have someone by my side, I better know she didn’t just fall for the first guy that came along, and she’ll keep holding me to my higher standards. I don’t want a pushover.

9. You’re on my mind. Constantly. Especially when I’m supposed to be thinking about something else. When I’m at work, giving a presentation, watching a movie with my buds. There you are, all in the middle of my shit, outta nowhere. And yet, I can’t help but smile.

10. You captivate me. You have my full attention. I’m not thinking about her. Or her. Or her. Just you. Oh, and that presentation I have this week. And my taxes that are due. But mostly just you.

11. I forgive you. The other day, you were completely crazy. Seriously, you went off the deep end about something. You blamed me for something I didn’t do, or didn’t actually say, or didn’t actually think. But hey, you’re human, you’re allowed a “gimme” now and then. (As am I.) And look, with all the beauty you bring to my life, I’m still coming out way ahead.

12. I love you. Sorry to get all heavy on you, but it’s true. While the last guy you dated for three years could never say it, I’m telling you now: I love you. You’re wonderful. I want to be more like you. I want others to be more like you. I want whatever kids we might hypothetically have together to be like you. You’re my idea of a fantastic person. I want to help you be as “you” as possible.

13. I can’t stop talking about you. You’re not some little secret I keep. Or hide. You’re my favorite thing on the planet. I told my mom about you before we even had our first date. I told my buddies about you immediately after our first date (didn’t wanna jinx it). You’re a story I could tell over and over and over again.

14. I see my future with you. Sure, I may not say this right away — I mean hopefully I won’t say this right away, for fear of scaring you off — but I’m thinking about it. We men, we can be planners, we can project, we can get ahead of ourselves. And me? I wanna get ahead of myself with you.

15. I just need to hold you. I may not always feel like having sex. I may not always feel like kissing. But I just need to be kinda near you. Be next to you. Be unable to lay away from you on the bed without wrapping myself around you. I don’t even understand it, frankly, but I do. So accept it, please. It’s something that something inside of me knows I need.

16. Thank you. For existing. For being you. For having your smile. For having the laugh that you do. For laughing at the things you do. For not laughing at the things you think are too stupid. For having a point of view and a strong sense of self. For wearing that amazing skirt the day I met you. For not wearing it when I introduced you to my mom. For having your standards. For getting pissed off when something matters. For showing your appreciation when you see beauty. For just existing. Seriously, I may never even get a chance with you, and if so, so be it. I’m just glad the universe made you. It makes me feel a lot better about the place I live in. But, barring that, come here please. I need to kiss you now. And for a while after that.

Some, if not most Nigerian men are guilty of using the silliest lines when trying to ask a girl out.

They’ve been accused of boasting about their wealth, jobs or travelling experiences to women because they think it’s the easiest way to scoring a relationship or a one night stand. Ladies, have you ever been in a situation where he went on and on about that trip to Dubai where he got to watch the Formula One championship and even took a selfie with Lewis Hamilton?

Well, here are four silly things Naija men say when trying to ask a girl out:

1.) “Baby, I can give you whatever you need”

Nigerian men are quick to use their wealth to seduce women. Boasting about how much they’re worth or have, gives them confidence to approach any woman/girl they find attractive. It’s silly but sometimes, it works!

2.) “Baby, I am the MD, DG, founder or creator of …”
Nigerian men sometimes believe telling a girl about their job position or description could win them a relationship or a one night stand. They think that when a girl knows they are employed or hold a top position in a company, it’s easier for them to respect, love and accept them almost immediately.

3.) “Baby, what type of phone should I get for you?”
Some Nigerian men think when a lady sees them with the latest or trending phones, it becomes easier asking them out on dates . Imagine a guy flaunting an iPhone 7 right now!!??

4.) “Baby, can I take you to Dubai for shopping?”
Nigerian men are used to talking about their travel experiences as a means to win a chick! They don’t mind boasting about where they’ve been to or what they experienced in the countries they’ve travelled to just because they want the ladies to know they’re also trendy or can afford luxurious trips should she agree to to date him.

There are 6 lies in fact that are molding the minds of the young and old into thinking there is no hope for a happily ever after.

Lie #1: “My private immorality does not affect my marriage.”

This belief is a lot more common then you may think. Your addiction is impacting the happiness of your marriage.

Lie #2: “The mistake I made is so bad that we need to get a divorce to be happy.”

Building trust again after a s*xual sin was committed, addiction got out of hand or something of that nature can actually make your marriage happier than it ever was before.

Lie #3: “Breaking the covenants we made won’t hurt me or my children.”

Divorce does not fix everything, especially if there are children involved. There is no guarantee that your children will be okay with the separation. Knowing that their parents are not in love with each other anymore may possibly have an impact on how they view love, divorce and especially marriage.

Lie #4: “My wife and I are too different.”

I can’t think of one couple that is perfectly compatible. You have chosen to marry a flawed individual and are now complaining about it? Learning through counseling, trial and error, leaning on your faith, or taking marriage classes is the best way for you to learn how to work together when times are getting tough.

Lie #5: “My happiness is THE most important thing in my marriage.”

You will be happy in your marriage when you realize that you and your husband are on the same team and need to work together to get to the final destination.

Lie #6: “I should get a divorce if I don’t love him anymore.”

If you are religious, then one of the best ways to work through your marriage when the love is gone is to re-establish (or establish if you’re not religious) and understand God’s love. Learning the skills that He exhibits like patience, kindness, and a Christ like love can turn into an even greater love than you had before.

These are myths that we have believed for such a long time. Marriages have ended because of these exact lies and it has very likely affected you personally already. Don’t get warped into believing that marriage isn’t worth anything. It is worth every penny.