Don’t feel pressured to continue talking if it doesn’t feel right.
Maybe you’re just not clicking, or maybe you’ve met someone else who seems like a better match. Whatever the reason, you know it’s time to move on. But how do you do that without disappearing into thin air, leaving them wondering what happened?
Ghosting, where you just stop talking to someone completely, might seem like the easy way out. But it’s actually pretty rude. The other person might be confused, hurt, or even worried.
There are much better ways to exit a talking stage without ghosting.
Understanding the “why”
Before you send that message, you need to figure out why you want to leave the talking stage in the first place. Why don’t you want to continue talking? Are there any specific red flags? Are you simply not feeling the spark? Being clear on your reasons will help you communicate your decision effectively. Here are some common reasons people might want to exit the talking stage:
- Lack of interest: Maybe the conversations feel forced, or they’re not the person you pictured yourself with. It’s okay! It happens.
- Different values: You might discover your views on important things don’t align. It’s better to address this early on than later.
- Too soon for commitment: Maybe you just started talking and want to focus on other areas of your life before getting romantically involved.
- Meeting someone new: If you’ve clicked with someone else, it’s okay to be respectful and end things with the first person.
Now that you know why you want to exit, it’s time to craft your message. Here are some key points to remember:
- Don’t sugarcoat it. Be direct and explain your reasons in a simple way.
- Even if you’re not interested, be respectful. Remember, they put themselves out there too.
- Avoid using confusing phrases like “I need some space” or “I’m not looking for anything right now.” It might leave them wondering.
- If you enjoyed your time getting to know them, let them know!
Here are some examples:
Communicate your decision to leave the talking stage instead of ghosting
- “Hey [Name], I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you these past few weeks. However, after some reflection, I don’t think I’m looking for a romantic relationship right now. I wish you all the best in your search!”
- “Thanks for taking the time to chat with me [Their name]. I’ve realised I’m looking for someone who shares my passion for [Your interest]. Wishing you the best!”
Bonus tip: If you’d rather avoid a long text, a simple “It was nice getting to know you, but I don’t see a romantic connection” is fine too.
The other person might be disappointed, confused, or even angry. It’s okay, you don’t owe anyone a date or a relationship. It’s okay to say “no” and move on.