Upper abdominal pain can stem from various causes, some more concerning than others.
ABACHA AND UGBA – AFRICAN SALAD
Abacha and Ugba, also known as African salad, originates from the Igbo tribe of Eastern Nigeria and is a cassava-based dish. Abacha refers to dried shredded cassava, while Ugba is fermented African oil bean seed. I was introduced to Abacha by my Igbo neighbors back in Nigeria when I was in primary school, and I absolutely loved it!
Abacha has remained an absolute favorite of mine because it’s incredibly easy to prepare, and its ingredients are readily available. Unfortunately, my pictures don’t do justice to the recipe because I encountered a slight hiccup with my camera just as I was about to begin. You’ll notice the picture quality changed after I added the Potash mixture to the Palm oil. I didn’t have much time to fix it, so I had to wait until the end to get help with adjusting its settings. Please bear with me on this.
It’s essential to note that Abacha and Ugba is not a hob/stove-cooked dish, so don’t be tempted to cook it with heat.
Ingredients:
– 4 Cups Abacha
– 1.5 – 2 Cups Ugba
– 1 Cup Palm Oil
– 1 Teaspoon Edible Potash (Akaun)
– 1 Whole Fresh Fish (Mackerel/Titus preferred)
– 2-3 Medium Stockfish/ Okporoko (Optional)
– 1-2 Scotch Bonnet or 2 Tablespoons Ground pepper
– 1 Red Onion
– 4-6 Garden Eggs (Optional)
– 6-8 Utazi Leaves
– 2 Tablespoons Crayfish Powder
– 5 Calabash Nutmeg Seeds (Ehuru)
– 1/2 Teaspoon Ogiri
– Knorr Cubes or any Bouillon Cubes
Preparation:
Firstly, clean and gut your fish, then marinate it with salt, curry, bouillon cube, or seasoning. Leave it to marinate in your fridge or a cool place for at least 30 minutes…
Then grill or fry. I prefer grilling, this was grilled for 45 minutes on 220 degrees…
Soak the Abacha in cold water till soft, this should take roughly 10 minutes, leave to drain in a colander….
Rinse the Ugba with warm water to rid it of dirt…
Boil the stockfish with salt and seasoning till soft…
Dissolve the Potash in 1 cup of water…..
Blend the scotch bonnet, 1/2 of the onion, crayfish and ground Ehuru till smooth and set aside….
Roast the Calabash nutmeg, peel and grind in a mortar or mill. I’m using pre-ground Ehuru but this is what Calabash nutmeg looks like in case you’re wondering….
Pour the palm oil into a bowl or saucepan, gradually add the potash mixture into the palm oil, mix thoroughly, you’ll notice the palm oil will begin to thicken and the colour will turn yellowy. Be careful not to add too much also be careful not to add the residue at the bottom of the bowl…
Now, add the pepper mix into the palm oil…
Now, add the shredded stockfish, Ogiri, then the Ugba, stir and combine…
Then add the Abacha, stir and combine….
And it’s ready.
You can mix in your chopped Utazi leaves at this time if you wish to. I prefer to just garnish with it. Be careful not to add too much Utazi though, it’s quite bitter and will affect the taste of your Abacha if added in excess.
Note: If you prefer your Abacha warm, do transfer it to a hob and let it simmer on low heat for 2 minutes or heat up in a microwave.
Garnish with Onion rings, Garden Eggs, Utazi leaves and the Grilled/Fried Fish
INGREDIENT To Make Gizdodo ( Dodo Gizzard)
Gizdodo ( Dodo Gizzard)
Gizdodo is simply peppered Gizzard and Plantain. It’s the awesome fusion of Chicken Gizzard, Fried Plantain and Spicy Tomato Stew, what’s not to love?
Gizdodo is an increasingly popular dish in Nigerian homes and parties. It is usually served with rice dishes but it also makes a perfect “small chops” snack or starter at Nigerian parties. I tasted Gizdodo for the first time at a baby shower in 2013 and I was swooned, who wouldn’t be? It’s a marriage between one of the yummiest parts of chicken and the much loved fried plantain, double yum!
Ingredients:
3 ripe plantains
450 grams gizzard
4 medium size tomatoes
2 red bell pepper
1 whole onion 1/2 onion chopped
1/2 red, green, yellow bell pepper each chopped
1.5 scotch bonnet
Vegetable/sunflower oil
1 tablespoon curry powder
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 tsp chicken seasoning ( I use Aromat)
1/2 teaspoon thyme
Salt to taste
NIGERIAN SCOTCH EGGS – INGREDIENTS:
Scotch Eggs rank among my favorite Nigerian snacks of all time. While my top picks are Nigerian Chicken Pies, closely followed by Nigerian Meat Pies, Scotch eggs hold a special place in my heart. Although Scotch eggs didn’t originate from Nigeria, they are incredibly popular here, almost to the point of being considered a Nigerian delicacy.
I already have a recipe for Nigerian Scotch Eggs.
Ingredients:
– 7 Medium Eggs
– 400g Sausage Meat
– Vegetable Oil for Deep Frying
– 50g Plain Flour
– 80g Bread Crumbs
– 1 Teaspoon Onion Salt/ Onion Powder
– 1 Teaspoon Dried Thyme
– 1 Teaspoon Rosemary
– 1 Teaspoon Black Pepper
– 1 Teaspoon Cayenne Pepper or Smoked Paprika
– 1/2 Teaspoon Nutmeg
– Chicken Seasoning/ Optional
MOMMA’S METHOD FOR MAKING FRIED PALM OIL STEW
Palm Oil Stew?? I’m sure many people are curious if there’s anything unique about this stew, considering I already have at least 6 different palm oil stew recipes on the blog. Well, this recipe is from my mum. She rarely consumes meat, so she often prepares stews using dried fish and stock fish, and she prefers to use palm oil over vegetable oil.
To be honest, Nigerian stews are remarkably adaptable. I mean, I can create at least 5 different-tasting stews using the same set of ingredients. The variations in flavor primarily depend on cooking methods, the duration the stew is allowed to simmer, and the timing of ingredient additions. So, even though the ingredients may seem similar, trust me, each stew has its own unique flavor profile.
Ingredients:
– 6 Red Bell Peppers (Tatashe)
– Assorted meats (Boiled and Fried)
– 4-6 Boiled Eggs (Optional)
– 1.5 cups Palm oil
– 2 Big onions
– 2-4 Scotch bonnet (Ata rodo)
– Stock fish
– Dried Catfish fillets or Shawa fillets
– 1 Cup Dried Prawns
– 4 Tablespoons Crayfish Powder
– 4 Knorr Chicken Cubes
– Salt to taste
Method:
Using a food processor, chop up your bell peppers and 1.5 Onions coarsely, set aside..
Boil your Stock fish and Catfish fillets in salted water till soft. Set aside..
Pour the palm oil into a pan, set on medium heat. When the oil heats up, add the 1/2 chopped onion, saute for 3 minutes…
After 3 minutes, add half of the crayfish powder, saute for just 30 seconds….
Try not to leave the crayfish for too long to avoid it burning or it’ll give your stew a bitter taste…
Then add the pepper. Also add the Knorr cubes and salt to taste, leave to fry on medium heat for 20 minutes, remember to stir every now and then to avoid burning..
The stew should look like this after 20 minutes. In fact, the stew should be cooked enough to eat at this time but we’re not done yet…:)
Then add the Stock fish and Catfish fillet..
Also add a 1/2 a cup of the fish broth…
Now, turn the heat to low, then leave to fry for 40 minutes. the longer it fries, the drier it becomes and the tastier it gets. Trust me, the key to well fried stew is to let it fry for as long as possible. Try not to burn the stew though..
After 40 minutes, add the fried meats and boiled eggs, continue to fry for a further 10 minutes..
Your palm oil stew is ready..
Enjoy!
HOW TO COOK EWEDU ELEGUSI – A YORUBA SOUP
This is quite significant. Ewedu elegusi, a traditional Yoruba dish, comprises a blend of jute leaves and melon seeds. Typically, it is served alongside Gbegiri (bean soup) or a palm oil-based stew. This culinary combination is often paired with amala (fermented yam dumplings) and is enjoyed as a regular lunch or during special occasions. Many local eateries in the western region, known as Bukas, frequently feature this combination on their menus.
The preparation of this soup is relatively straightforward, with the main consideration being the ratio of ewedu leaves to water; if there is too much water in the mixture, the ewedu will not achieve the desired viscosity.
- Combine the egusi with 2 tablespoons of water. Set aside.
- Place a medium pot on high heat, add in the water and bring to a boil.
- Add in the ewedu leaves. Reduce heat to medium and cook uncovered for 5 minutes of until leaves are softened.
- Pour boiled ewedu into a blender and process until smooth ( this step is traditionally done with a local broom called “Ijabe’). The broom is used to pound the cooking ewedu until leaves are broken into tiny pieces – talk about workout!)
- Return blended ewedu to the pot and add in iru, salt, and egusi paste. As soon as the egusi starts to curdle, stir.
- Stir in more warm water at this point to your desired level of thickness (I added about 1 cup extra).
- Serve ewedu with stew and gbegiri.
HOW TO PREPARE JOLLOF RICE USING A RICE COOKER
Looking for a fast way to cook Jollof rice? Authentic, delicious-tasting Jollof Rice in the convenience of a rice cooker or Instant Pot? I hear you saying, ‘Sign me up already.’
Now, let’s be very clear. The depth of good Jollof rice is in the base. There are loads of techniques to make a good base. You start with the right combination of peppers, onions, and tomatoes. Chop, season, and roast to perfection. Then you infuse the oil with onions and spices. Fry the tartness out of the tomato paste. Introduce your roasted base. Then introduce your spices, including curry, thyme, white pepper, etc. Cook until everything is well-married. Now you can move on to cooking your Jollof in the Instant Pot or slow cooker. This is, give or take, a 45-60 minute prep process.
That doesn’t sound so easy, does it? Truth is, a well-cooked base is non-negotiable when it comes to good Jollof. Well, the good news is, we can skip all the steps above and simply use the Atare Foods JollofNow cooking paste. This paste is a lifesaver and a great addition to every kitchen. It’s the Jollof you know and love, with all the natural ingredients you would use in your own kitchen, presented to you in a ready-to-use format. Welcome to modern convenience without compromise.”
Slow cooker / Instant Pot Jollof Rice Recipe
Ingredients
- 1 Jar AtareFoods JollofNow paste
- 3 cups parboiled or Sella basmati rice
- 3-4 cups broth or water*
- 3-4 stock cubes – to taste
- Salt – to taste
Directions
- Wash the rice until water runs clear. Drain and set aside.
- In your instant pot or rice cooker, add the broth (water), Jollof Now. Stir until well incorporated.
- Taste the broth and add more salt, stock cube and or pepper as needed.
- Stir in washed rice
- If using a rice cooker, turn on the cook function and cover. If using instant pot, turn on the rice function and cover.
- Once done. stir to combine. Add in some butter and freshly sliced tomatoes if you are feeling fancy.
That’s all!!! it’s literally less than 5 minutes of prep to make perfectly delicious Jollof Rice. Serve your Jollof with choice of protein. I love mine with Fried egg and grilled turkey wing.
Recipe note: I am recommending 3 0r 4 cups of liquid simply as a matter of preference. If you prefer a just rice texture of rice, use 3 cups. If you prefer softer textured rice, use 4 cups.
STEER CLEAR OF THESE 4 DREADFUL ADVICE IF YOU AIM TO LOSE WEIGHT
We often find ourselves entangled in dietary myths about weight loss, which, despite our determination, prove ineffective.
NOLLYWOOD FILMMAKERS PRODUCE 274 MOVIES IN THE INITIAL 3 MONTHS OF 2024
The National Film and Video Censors Board (NFVCB) has reported that a total of 274 movies were received and classified by the Nigerian film industry during the first quarter of the year. Dr. Shaibu Husseini, the Executive Director/CEO of the board, disclosed this in a statement issued on Monday in Abuja.
According to Dr. Husseini, the figure was compiled by the Department of Film Censorship and Classification of the board as part of its first quarter report, encompassing all genres of films approved by the board. This report is intended for submission to the relevant Federal Government agency for inclusion in the compilation of the nation’s Gross Domestic Product for the first quarter of 2024.
The report highlights that films in the English language dominated the majority of productions during the period under review. Specifically, out of the total number of films verified and approved, 250 were produced in English, with the remaining comprising films in Yoruba, Igbo, Hausa, and Hindi languages.
In terms of classification by audience viewing, the report reveals that films classified as ’18’, intended for mature audiences, constituted over 50% of the total films produced. Following behind were films classified as ’15’, ’12’, those requiring Parental Guidance (PG), and those classified for ‘General viewing’.
NFVCB, as a Federal Government agency, holds regulatory authority over the films and video industry in Nigeria. Its responsibilities include the classification of all films and videos, whether locally produced or imported, as well as the registration of all film and video outlets nationwide, among other duties.
AYRA STARR TO COLLABORATE WITH ASAKE, SEYI VIBEZ, AND GIVEON ON HER UPCOMING SECOND ALBUM
Ayra Starr has confirmed in an interview with DJ Buck that her second album is fully completed, also revealing the lineup of artists who will feature on the project.
WHAT LEADS ADULT DAUGHTERS TO REFUSE THEIR MOTHERS
The mother-daughter relationship is intricate and influential, shaping individuals’ identities and interpersonal connections. However, in some cases, this bond can fracture, leading to estrangement in adulthood. While outright rejection is less common, a significant emotional distance can develop, causing profound distress for both mother and daughter.
Understanding the underlying factors contributing to this complex dynamic is essential for navigating such situations. Here, we delve into the primary reasons why adult daughters may distance themselves from their mothers:
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Unresolved Childhood Issues: Early experiences, such as emotional neglect or abuse, can profoundly impact adult relationships. Daughters who experienced a lack of emotional attunement from their mothers may struggle with trust and intimacy later in life, resulting in resentment and a desire for distance.
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Differing Values and Personalities: As daughters mature, they develop distinct identities and belief systems. These may diverge significantly from their mothers’, leading to conflicts over values or lifestyles. For instance, differing religious beliefs or personality clashes can strain the mother-daughter relationship.
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Communication Breakdowns: Ineffective communication patterns can exacerbate tensions. Mothers who are overly critical or controlling may alienate their daughters, while daughters who struggle to express their needs clearly may contribute to misunderstandings and distance.
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Parental Estrangement Syndrome: Parental estrangement, characterized by emotional disconnection between adult children and parents, can result from various factors, including mental health issues or personality disorders in the parent.
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Intergenerational Trauma: Trauma passed down through generations can influence family dynamics. Mothers who experienced difficult relationships with their own mothers may unintentionally repeat these patterns with their daughters, perpetuating emotional distance and estrangement.
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Life Stage Transitions: Major life changes, such as divorce or parenthood, can strain existing relationships. Daughters may feel unsupported or judged by their mothers during these transitions, leading to increased tension and distance.
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Mental Health Considerations: Both mother and daughter’s mental health issues can contribute to relationship strain. For example, a daughter experiencing depression may withdraw from all relationships, including with her mother.
It’s important to recognize that estrangement often arises from a combination of these factors, rather than a single cause. Additionally, the experience of estrangement can vary widely, from complete rejection to occasional strained contact.
Is Reconciliation Feasible?
Despite the challenges, reconciliation is possible with mutual willingness and effort. Both parties must acknowledge their role in the conflict and commit to healing. Therapy, either individually or together, can be instrumental in addressing underlying issues and fostering healthier communication patterns.
Rebuilding a stronger, healthier relationship with your daughter requires patience, compassion, and a willingness to change. With dedication and support, reconciliation can lead to profound healing and growth for both mother and daughter.
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Communication Breakdowns: Ineffective communication patterns can exacerbate tensions. Mothers who are overly critical or controlling may alienate their daughters, while daughters who struggle to express their needs clearly may contribute to misunderstandings and distance.
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Parental Estrangement Syndrome: Parental estrangement, characterized by emotional disconnection between adult children and parents, can result from various factors, including mental health issues or personality disorders in the parent.
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Intergenerational Trauma: Trauma passed down through generations can influence family dynamics. Mothers who experienced difficult relationships with their own mothers may unintentionally repeat these patterns with their daughters, perpetuating emotional distance and estrangement.
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Life Stage Transitions: Major life changes, such as divorce or parenthood, can strain existing relationships. Daughters may feel unsupported or judged by their mothers during these transitions, leading to increased tension and distance.
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Mental Health Considerations: Both mother and daughter’s mental health issues can contribute to relationship strain. For example, a daughter experiencing depression may withdraw from all relationships, including with her mother.
It’s important to recognize that estrangement often arises from a combination of these factors, rather than a single cause. Additionally, the experience of estrangement can vary widely, from complete rejection to occasional strained contact.
Is Reconciliation Feasible?
Despite the challenges, reconciliation is possible with mutual willingness and effort. Both parties must acknowledge their role in the conflict and commit to healing. Therapy, either individually or together, can be instrumental in addressing underlying issues and fostering healthier communication patterns.
Rebuilding a stronger, healthier relationship with your daughter requires patience, compassion, and a willingness to change. With dedication and support, reconciliation can lead to profound healing and growth for both mother and daughter.
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5 METHODS TO DEMONSTRATE AFFECTION ACCORDING TO YOUR PARTNER’S LOVE LANGUAGE
Affection transcends mere emotion—it manifests as meaningful actions that fortify bonds and enhance relationships.
ESSENTIAL HOTEL ROOM SAFETY TIPS YOU SHOULD BE AWARE OF
Hotels, renowned for their cozy accommodations and convenient amenities, are typically seen as sanctuaries for relaxation during travel. However, amidst the vacation ambiance, it’s crucial to recognize that an unfamiliar setting can present security challenges. Don’t let concerns overshadow your trip enjoyment! Here’s a comprehensive guide to prioritizing hotel room safety, turning your stay from potentially precarious to perfectly tranquil.
Room Inspection: Instead of simply settling in, take a moment to inspect your room thoroughly. Confirm that all doors and windows have operational locks (and utilize them!). Assess the functionality of the peephole (if available) and deadbolts. Don’t hesitate to request a room change if anything seems questionable.
Fire Safety: Familiarize yourself with the nearest fire exit and the escape route. Visualize navigating the path in low visibility conditions to prepare for emergencies. Knowing the location of fire extinguishers can also be vital.
Smoke Alarms: Verify the functionality of the smoke detector to ensure it’s operational. A malfunctioning alarm can pose significant risks. Promptly report any issues with alarms to the hotel front desk.
Protecting Your Belongings
Safekeeping: Take advantage of in-room safes offered by most hotels. Safeguard your passport, travel documents, and valuable jewelry here for added peace of mind. Remember, while a safe acts as a deterrent, avoid storing excessive cash within.
Smart Packing: Consider leaving expensive jewelry at home if feasible. Pack only essential items for your trip to minimize the risk of loss or theft.
Digital Security: Exercise caution when using public hotel Wi-Fi for online activities. Consider using a virtual private network (VPN) for enhanced security, especially when accessing sensitive information like banking details.
Preventing Unauthorized Entry
Door Precautions: Refrain from opening your room door for unexpected visitors. Always utilize the peephole (if available) to verify the identity of individuals knocking. If it’s hotel staff, confirm their identity by contacting the front desk.
Guest Restrictions: Avoid inviting unfamiliar individuals to your room, whether encountered at the hotel bar or during excursions.
Privacy Measures: Make use of the “Do Not Disturb” sign when you’re away from your room or desire privacy. This signals to housekeeping staff to refrain from entering your room.
Additional Tip: Exercise Caution with Social Media Sharing
Avoid sharing your hotel location and room number in real-time on social media, as it can pose a security risk. Consider waiting until after checkout to post vacation photos.
By incorporating these straightforward hotel room safety practices into your routine, you can enhance your stay with a sense of security and relaxation. Remember, a little vigilance goes a long way in ensuring a worry-free and memorable vacation!
9 NEWEST PACKING GEL STYLES YOU SHOULD EXPERIMENT WITH
Get to see the latest packing gel styles that will give you the stand-out look you desire.
2. Barbie ponytail
Culled from the cartoon with the same name, the packing gel with a Barbie ponytail is also one style you could try for your next hairdo. This style involves making your ponytail curled at the tip which can be done manually or you get an extension that comes that way.
Don’t forget to style your edges to get that cute Barbie look.
3. Bridal packing gel style
Is it your wedding and you are going for packing gel style on your big day? Then the bridal packing gel is one of the latest packing gel styles you should try. This style can come in different forms such as a high or low bun as well as using different kinds of accessories on it.
4. Low Ponytail
This style is the go-to packing gel hairstyle if you are worried about not looking good with the usual packing gel style that is high. Try a low ponytail and it will definitely come out beautiful.
5. Packing gel with braided extension
Another latest packing gel style you can try is one where you make a high ponytail and this time you use a braided extension instead. This is even one of those packing gel styles you can make by yourself. Simply wash and dry your hair, and use a boar bristle brush to untangle your strands fully. Put your hair in a high ponytail at the rear of your head and add a plaited extension at the top.
6. Packing gel with braided extensions and cornrows
Not sure you want all that gel in your hair and still want to rock the latest packing gel hairstyle? You can simply try one with cornrows at the front instead. This also goes well with a braided extension.
7. Packing gel with side bangs
This latest packing gel style is simply a ponytail with side bangs and it is basically one of the best packing gel hairstyles for ladies. This style comes with fringes on both sides that make you all shades of beautiful.
8. The messy bun with frontal packing gel hairstyle
The messy bun with frontal is another latest packing gel style that you can try. This style involves a messy bun as the name implies and a frontal which can be two fringes or one.
9. Packing gel with a swoop
If you are really looking to stand it with the latest packing gel hairstyle, then the packing gel with a swoop is just right. This packing gel gel hairstyle involves parting your hair on the side, and the part with the most hair is gelled and combed forward, forming a circular shape at the forehead as seen in the picture.
Conclusion
Packing gel hairstyles is one of those hairstyles that comes with a wide range of options that ladies can rock for both formal and casual occasions. It is also one hairstyle you can do all year by trying these different latest packing gel hairstyles and you will look glamorous all through.
From messy buns to braided extensions, these hairstyles allow you to express your style while maintaining a polished and put-together look and it doesn’t matter if you have short, medium, or long hair. So which of these will you try first?
WHY WOMEN’S MENSTRUAL PERIODS SYNC WHEN THEY COHABIT
When women live together, they often observe a phenomenon where their menstrual cycles appear to synchronize, prompting curiosity about its underlying cause
THESE 5 EVENING ROUTINES WILL LEAD TO UNWANTED BELLY FAT
Most of these habits can be changed with minimal effort.
10 EXERCISES THAT HELP MAINTAIN MENTAL SHARPNESS
Our brains are like muscles – the more we use them, the stronger they become.
Similar to how physical exercise maintains our physical health, engaging in mental exercises can enhance cognitive function and keep our minds sharp.
As we age, it’s natural to notice some decline in memory and cognitive abilities. However, there are strategies we can implement to decelerate this decline and promote mental acuity.
Here are ten activities that can help maintain cognitive sharpness:
1. Solve jigsaw puzzles
– Completing jigsaw puzzles challenges the brain and enhances visual-spatial reasoning, short-term memory, and concentration.
2. Play brain games
– Online and app-based brain games offer opportunities to boost memory, focus, and problem-solving skills, providing an enjoyable mental workout.
3. Learn a new language
– Learning a new language fosters cognitive function by forming fresh neural connections through vocabulary acquisition, grammar comprehension, and cultural understanding.
4. Read books and articles
– Reading is a potent cognitive stimulant that not only entertains but also enriches vocabulary and comprehension skills.
5. Practice regular writing
– Writing exercises the brain and enhances cognitive abilities such as memory, focus, and communication skills.
6. Embrace new challenges
– Stepping out of comfort zones and tackling unfamiliar challenges keeps the brain engaged and adaptive, whether through learning new skills, embarking on projects, or exploring novel experiences.
7. Prioritize sufficient sleep
– Adequate sleep is crucial for optimal cognitive function, with 7-8 hours of nightly sleep recommended to support brain health.
8. Maintain a nutritious diet
– Consuming a balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, and whole grains supports brain health and cognitive function.
9. Incorporate regular exercise
– Physical exercise not only benefits physical health but also promotes cognitive function, enhancing memory, focus, and overall brain health.
10. Foster social connections
– Social interaction is essential for cognitive vitality, so spending time with loved ones and engaging in social activities can bolster mental sharpness.
These practices contribute to sustaining cognitive function and mitigating age-related declines. Additionally, here are some additional tips for maintaining mental sharpness:
– Foster curiosity and a thirst for knowledge through continuous learning.
– Manage stress effectively with strategies like yoga, meditation, or spending time outdoors.
– Schedule regular check-ups with your doctor to monitor cognitive health and address any concerns promptly.
5 REASONS PEOPLE STILL SLEEP WITH THEIR EXES AND HOW THEY CAN MOVE FORWARD
### Why People Still Have Sex with Their Exes – And How They Can Stop
Even after breaking up, some former couples maintain contact and continue to have sex, sometimes even cheating on current partners. In Nigeria, this is often referred to as Okafor’s Law.
Studies indicate that a notable percentage of young adults (27%) and separated couples (22%) have had sex with an ex within a specific timeframe (Sage Journal, Psychology of Breakup).
#### Reasons People Sleep with Their Exes After Breaking Up
1. **Nostalgia**
– Clinical psychologist Jo Lamble explains that nostalgia for a younger, freer, and happier time can lead to an affair. Committed relationships or marriages can feel confining, prompting memories of the past with an ex.
2. **Familiarity**
– When feeling sad, many seek comfort in the familiar. Experts say people cheat with ex-partners because they feel a sense of certainty, know them well, and feel safe with them.
3. **Dissatisfaction**
– Dissatisfaction, neglect, anger, or falling out of love are primary reasons for cheating. A study in the Journal of Sex Research found that most cheaters cited dissatisfaction with their current relationship, feeling neglected, anger, or falling out of love as their motives.
4. **Hoping to Get Back Together**
– Post-breakup sex can be a strategy to reconcile. Researchers Buss and Schmitt note that both men and women use displays of affection, called benefit-provisioning, to try and win their exes back.
5. **Using the Sexual Relationship for Other Purposes**
– According to Sexual Strategy Theory (SST) by Buss and Schmitt, people may use sex after a breakup to gain resources, social ties, or high-quality partners. This adaptive value can include sexual variety, genetically suitable partners, resource acquisition, or social status advancement.
#### How to Avoid Sleeping with Your Ex
1. **Respect Yourself**
– Remember how your ex treated you and why the relationship ended. Sleeping with an ex can undermine your self-worth.
2. **Avoid Shared Places**
– Give yourself time before revisiting places where you might encounter your ex. A complete break from communication, including avoiding seeing them in person, can be the healthiest option.
3. **Social Media Cleanse**
– Unfollow or block your ex on social media to avoid seeing pictures or updates that might trigger emotions or nostalgia. This allows you time and space to heal and move on.
10 KINDS OF PEOPLE YOU SHOULD NEVER TRUST
Surround yourself with honest, reliable, and supportive people.
Trust is the foundation of strong relationships, enabling us to be vulnerable, share our dreams, and rely on others for support. However, trust must be earned, not freely given.
Sadly, some people will break that trust, leaving us feeling hurt, betrayed, and confused.
While it’s impossible to predict someone’s actions with absolute certainty, certain personality traits and behaviors can be red flags. Here are 10 types of people to approach with caution regarding trust:
1. **The Chronic Liar**
– Chronic liars weave webs of deceit effortlessly, exaggerating stories, fabricating situations, or conveniently “forgetting” inconvenient details. Their constant dishonesty erodes trust.
– **Spotting Them:** Look for inconsistencies in their stories, frequent changes in details, and defensiveness when questioned.
2. **The Gossip Monger**
– Gossip mongers thrive on spreading rumors and drama. They enjoy the power of knowing something others don’t and stirring up trouble. Today, they might gossip about someone else; tomorrow, it could be you.
– **Spotting Them:** They disguise gossip as “just sharing” or “being concerned” but focus on negativity and drama, prying for personal information about others.
3. **The Betrayer**
– Betrayers prioritize their own needs over the trust you’ve placed in them. This can be a friend who reveals a secret, a co-worker who takes credit for your work, or a romantic partner who cheats.
– **Spotting Them:** Be wary of those who prioritize short-term gains over long-term loyalty. They may have a history of broken promises or making excuses for their actions.
4. **The Manipulator**
– Manipulators get what they want through subtle or direct means, playing on your emotions, guilt-tripping you, or using flattery.
– **Spotting Them:** They make you feel bad to get you to comply, use emotional blackmail, give insincere compliments, and avoid taking responsibility for their actions.
5. **The Narcissist**
– Narcissists have an inflated sense of self-importance and need constant admiration. They lack empathy and struggle to see things from your perspective, often being overly critical or taking advantage of your kindness.
– **Spotting Them:** They dominate conversations, rarely show genuine interest in others, struggle to be happy for other people’s successes, and shift focus to their needs and desires.
6. **The Yes-Man (or Yes-Woman)**
– Constant agreement might seem ideal initially, but a yes-man/woman is more interested in pleasing you than offering honest feedback.
– **Spotting Them:** They rarely express their opinions or disagree with yours, seem overly eager to please, and struggle to set boundaries.
7. **The Drama Queen (or King)**
– Drama queens/kings thrive on chaos and attention, creating problems, blowing issues out of proportion, and expecting you to solve their crises.
– **Spotting Them:** They have a victim mentality, blame others for their problems, struggle to take responsibility, crave attention, and thrive on emotional roller coasters.
8. **The Unreliable**
– Consistently unreliable people can’t be counted on, often missing deadlines, canceling plans last minute, or making promises they can’t keep.
– **Spotting Them:** They have a history of unreliable behavior, offer flimsy excuses, and rarely learn from their mistakes.
9. **The User**
– Users are interested in people only as long as they benefit from them, be it through connections, borrowing money without returning it, or exploiting kindness.
– **Spotting Them:** They seem overly interested in what you can do for them, rarely reciprocate favors, and have a history of leaving broken friendships or used-up acquaintances.
10. **The Abuser (Physical or Emotional)**
– Abusers seek to control and manipulate you, putting you down, making you feel worthless, or threatening you. This is the most serious category.
– **Spotting Them:** They are controlling, jealous, possessive, may try to isolate you from friends and family, monitor your communication, or use threats and intimidation. Physical abuse includes hitting, pushing, or any action causing harm.
“IT’S BIRTHDAY SEASON IN MY YARD OOO,” SAYS TUFACE AS HE CELEBRATES ANOTHER OF HIS CHILDREN.
Innocent “Tuface” Idibia is celebrating another child’s birthday.
The singer’s son with Sunmbo Adeoye, Zion Idibia, is marking his birthday today.
Tuface shared several photos of Zion and hailed him in the caption.
This comes three weeks after he celebrated the birthday of Innocent Jr., his youngest son with Pero.