These are 7 traits all toxic parents have — are you one?
See what parental behaviour is toxic and be sure to eliminate it from your life.
You may not even know that your parents were toxic. However, certain behaviours may indicate this.
Unfortunately, this was not a very popular attitude in the past. Our parents made many mistakes because of this. Perhaps you too were a victim of their ignorance.
7 traits of toxic parents
See what parental behaviour is toxic and be sure to eliminate it from your life!
1. Transferring your own ambitions to your child
Have you always dreamed of being a ballerina, but you lacked the courage to try? Then don’t even try to transfer these ambitions to your child! Let him decide for himself what passions he wants to develop and observe him from an appropriate distance. It is possible that the child will also dream of ballet. However, this idea must come directly from him – without any pressure from you.
2. Constant criticism
Even if you see your child doing something in an inappropriate way (for example, not washing the dishes thoroughly), do not criticise him at every step. Let him come to some conclusions on his own.
If you constantly scold him and throw negative comments at him, you will lose his self-confidence or completely discourage him from taking any action!
3. Avoiding difficult emotions and ignoring the child’s opinion
Most of our parents were reluctant to hear us cry. This is because past generations were not taught to show feelings. Fortunately, this is now changing.
You should also give your child a chance to cry or shout out what hurts. Contrary to appearances, this is very important. Just like you should always listen to his opinion.
Even though you may not agree with him sometimes, the most important thing for your child is that someone listened to him and did not treat him down.
4. Blaming your child for your bad mood
Have you ever told your child that he made you angry/sad/disappointed? That is very bad. Talking about emotions in this way makes the child feel guilty. The thought appears in his head that he has hurt his mother.
It’s better if you say that a certain situation upset you or something that happened affected you. Don’t blame the child. Sometimes it doesn’t know that its actions are causing such strong reactions in you.
5. Being offended by a child
Remember that there is nothing worse than the so-called quiet days. Even if you get angry with your child, don’t make him feel that way. When your emotions subside, talk to him calmly. Present your arguments to him and reach an agreement. If you get offended at your child and ignore him, he will very quickly respond in kind.
6. Treating your child with superiority
Previous generations of parents especially loved to point out that they were the heads or necks of the family, and children only had to obey them and follow their orders. Fortunately, times are changing.
The partnership model is becoming more and more common in families. Parents take their children’s opinions into account and consult them on certain decisions. Thanks to this, they learn that they are equally important and have an impact on what their family looks like.
7. Making the child dependent on you
This often begins to occur when children start to socialise with their peers and no longer spend as much time with their parents as before. Some people can’t come to terms with it. They assume that since they have devoted so much of their time to the child, now the child should repay the same. Mistake!
Your child will leave the nest at some point and you have no influence on it. However, try to make him always want and need to come back when things happen in his life.