Five crucial steps for brides beginning their wedding planning journey

Weddings have always played an important role in marriage and society, but they seem to have become more opulent and flamboyant over the past few years.

The average cost of a wedding is enough to give any bride and groom hot flashes, and there are hours and hours of planning that go into making the details work.

The key to figuring out how to plan a wedding is knowing the responsibilities associated with planning a huge event.

Perhaps, you’ve always operated under the assumption that a wedding planner would help you figure out all the details of your wedding, but the reality is that most brides and grooms plan their big day without professional help.

If you don’t have the luxury of having a wedding planner on your team, it’s easy to get overwhelmed — which is why you need a plan and a wedding planning checklist.

Here are the first 5 steps all brides who are planning their wedding should take:

1. Start with the guests

The very first step is to start building and trimming your guest list. There are multiple ways you can do this, but here’s one technique:

• Begin by adding every name you and your groom would possibly invite. This may include immediate family, friends, second cousins, college roommates, etc. It’s a liberal list that helps you get something down on paper.
• Once you have this big list, start to trim it down. Remove the people you haven’t seen in a while and don’t keep in touch with them. Erase names of individuals who recently got married and didn’t invite you to their wedding (not out of spite, but practicality. If they didn’t invite you, they shouldn’t be offended when you don’t invite them). It should be easy to remove 15-20 percent of the original names on your list.

Here’s where things get tricky. Since you haven’t decided on a budget or wedding venue yet, you need a couple of different guest lists. One is your strict, low-budget guest list that contains the absolute bare minimum. Think of immediate family and closest friends. The second list is a much looser one, which includes additional guests whose invitations are contingent on cost-related factors.

2. Identify a budget

Step two sort of happens in tandem with step one. Think about financials and how much money you have to spend on the wedding. Will you be paying for it yourself? Are your parents helping out? Is your groom’s family going to pitch in? Figure out the absolute maximum you have to spend, as well as a lower number that you’re more comfortable with.

3. Find the location

With your budget in tow, start your search for a venue. Popular venues will often fill up a year or two in advance, so make sure you start looking as soon as possible. You’ll want to zero in on a couple of different options, just so you can see the cost differences, as well as potential limitations on the number of guests.

4. Research vendors

Once you have your guest list, budget, and location, you’ll have a much clearer picture of what sort of money you have left for things like flowers, food, drink, entertainment, cake, etc. Spend time researching vendors and looking for trustworthy ones. It’s better to spend a little more on a reliable vendor than it is to save money and get a vendor you feel uneasy about.

5. Understand what’s important

Finally, make sure you understand what’s important. Having beautiful floral centrepieces and perfectly cooked appetizers is great, but these elements won’t make or break your wedding. Focus on your groom and enjoy the evening.

Your wedding is all about you and your groom. Once the big day arrives, it’s time to relax and enjoy the moment. While you may find it difficult to step back, you need to switch roles. You’re no longer the wedding planner — you’re the bride.

Pass off those planning responsibilities to someone you can trust — such as your mother or maid of honour — and soak up every last second of what will be one of the best days of your life

12 Things to Know Before Dating Someone With Anxiety

Anxiety is a pretty big romance killer, but it’s a reality that many have to live with on a day to day basis. Being in a relationship with someone who suffers from anxiety isn’t always the easiest, and there might be one rough moments, but here are some key ways to cope with it in a controlled but compassionate manner.

1. Take the time to research and learn about anxiety so you can understand unusual or seemingly erratic behavior and learn to identify when your partner might be having an anxiety attack.

2. Learn to ask them about their triggers and identity or work around them or at least compromise. Do you love fairs and amusement parks but bae has social anxiety? Maybe bring your BFF instead and bring your sweetie home a souvenir.

3. Learn the most effective breathing exercises for people with anxiety and lead your partner in it when you can tell they’re about to have a meltdown. It’s hard for them to control, but if you learn to notice it in advance, you might be able to nip it in the bud.

4. Be strong when they are weak. If you panic, they’ll be able to sense it and till just make the situation worse. Try to enact patience instead of anger, otherwise it will be a long and grueling journey.

5. Don’t assume it’s about you! If you take their anxiety personally, it will lead to fights about something that is just about them. Even if you feel rejected, it doesn’t have to do with you, and rather than making a false assumption, it’s better to just ask, or even better – listen.

6. Don’t tell them to calm down. This is something extremely frustrating for people with anxiety to hear – they don’t experience stress the way normal people do, so to hear that when you’re experiencing something very hard to control can make it even worse.

7. Instead, keep your cool and stay calm when your partner is going through an anxiety attack. This will create an anchored feeling of Zen for them to gravitate back towards when they’re going through a tough moment.

8. They might have a social limit that can’t be exceeded. If you’re at a party and it’s been more than a couple of hours and you see your partner starting to get shifty, they might have had enough of the social gathering for that night.

9. Don’t try to be their whole support system – you’re not their therapist, and you don’t need to be. You can be supportive, but they need to manage their daily anxiety, whether that means through different coping mechanisms, finding an actual therapist, or going on appropriate medication. You can’t “fix” someone and it puts unfair burden on a relationship.

10. Sometimes, asking “are you ok?” can make it worse. Instead, try to act as comforting as possible, reassuring them and letting them know that you believe in them instead of being too much of a worry-wort.

11. Don’t try to talk them down in a rational way – they’re very aware that they’re not being rational, and bringing up logic in an emotional situation won’t do anything to neutralize tension and bring peace. Make sure you don’t downplay it or make them feel as though they’re being dramatic.

12. They might have moments where they obsess and nitpick about every aspect of the relationship, so strength and emotional support plays an important role in dating someone with anxiety. Don’t give them yet another reason to freak out!