AFTER FOUR YEARS OF MARRIAGE, I LEFT MY CONTROLLING HUSBAND AND KNEW I’D DONE THE RIGHT THING

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After less than four years of marriage, I made the difficult decision to leave my controlling husband, and deep down, I knew I had done the right thing.

We have a toddler together, and recently, during his visit to see our daughter, he casually mentioned that he was planning to marry again. Hearing this felt like a sharp reminder that he was moving on while I was still stuck in the past. Sadly, I haven’t been able to fully move on myself.

I still wear my wedding ring, and one of our wedding pictures is prominently displayed in my flat. I haven’t entered into another relationship since our separation.

Dear Bunmi, why am I wasting my life?

Ibidun, by e-mail.


Dear Ibidun,

You need to realize that the only thing holding you back is yourself.

You say you can’t move on, but that’s not entirely true.

First, take off your wedding ring. Put it in a safe place or consider selling it and using the money to treat yourself.

Next, take down your wedding photograph.

You must create a new life for yourself. Meet new people, try something new—anything!

It’s all about preparing your mind and body for a new beginning.

There are countless adventures waiting for you, but don’t wait for them to come to you—go out there and find them!

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